Eyes Wide Open—What You Need To Know Before Remarrying In Retirement

Several weeks ago, I posted an article about senior dating and some of the resources available to help seniors who are divorced or widowed find a new partner. The article also mentioned that for various reasons, many seniors who do meet that special someone are reluctant to get remarried. But what if you do want to marry your new love? A recent article in USA Today addresses some of the issues couples need to consider before walking down the aisle again.

A couple of 14-carat gold wedding rings. Pictu...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Discuss each of your finances openly
Does your prospective spouse carry a lot of debt? Have either of you co-signed loans to help children from previous marriages? Questions like these need be asked before the marriage, not after. Many people are embarrassed about their debt and reluctant to discuss it. You should also review one another’s credit reports.

Don’t forget to change your beneficiaries
If you have a life insurance policy, an annuity, an IRA, or any other retirement account, review each of them and make sure beneficiary designations reflect your new relationship.

Think about getting a prenuptial agreement
It’s not the most romantic topic to bring up with your new love, but virtually every senior considering remarriage should have one.

Think twice before adding your new spouse’s name to your home
This is often one of the most contentious issues in second and third marriages. Children from previous marriages can feel particularly threatened by the potential loss of the family home. Instead of adding your new spouse’s name to the home, it is more prudent to give him or her occupancy rights.

If you are a senior considering remarriage, I invite you to contact me to discuss issues like these and any other concerns you might have.

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Senior Dating—Tips To Help You “Get Your Groove” Back

One of the most rewarding aspects of being an elder law and estate planning attorney is that I get to develop strong relationships with my clients. To create a sound plan, I need to know my clients well. Many clients often become close friends, and we talk about a wide range of personal matters. Some of these conversations even turn to the problem of re-entering the world of dating as a senior. Now, I’m not much of a matchmaker, but I did find an article in the New York Times that provides a wealth of information on the topic.

Romance isn't just for teenagers...

Romance isn’t just for teenagers… (Photo credit: Ed Yourdon)

First of all, if you are a senior looking for a date this Friday night, you are hardly alone. Approximately 45 percent of people age 65 and older are separated, divorced, or widowed, according to the AARP. And people over the age of 60 are the fastest growing online dating demographic. In fact, AARP Dating has teamed up with a website called HowAboutWe to provide suggestions for offline dates, and the site has nearly 60,000 followers.

While there is no shortage of dating websites out there (eHarmony, Match.com, and JDate to name a few), many seniors simply aren’t comfortable with looking for relationships online, or don’t use the Internet at all. Another option is professional matchmakers, of which there are some 3,000 in the United States. About 90 percent of them work with seniors, but not necessarily exclusively.

Clearly, there are plenty of resources out there to help seniors find that special someone. However, according to the article in the Times, many seniors who do find someone they enjoy spending time with are reluctant to remarry. Why? Some are worried that the other person might simply be “after their money.” Others are concerned about the implications remarriage can have for their children’s inheritance. These are valid concerns. If you are in a serious relationship and considering remarriage, I invite you to call me for a consultation. I can show you a number of ways to protect your assets, including a prenuptial agreement.

In the meantime, if you’re just looking for advice on senior dating, I strongly recommend that you click on the link below to read the full article in the Times. You’ll be surprised by how many people share your concerns about re-entering the dating world and what they are doing about it.

New York Times Article: Matchmakers For Those Over 60

10 Best Places for Single Boomers to Retire