Posts Categorized: Elder Care

Daily Exercise Promotes Mobility and Wards Off Dementia

Confirming what experts have suspected for a while now, a new scientific study by the Rush University Medical Center in Chicago finds that daily exercise has a profound limiting effect on dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. As an added bonus, daily movements also prevent the kind of brain damage that could impair mental and motor function as you get older.

The study adds to our growing understanding about how non-medicinal lifestyle changes may largely ward off the worst parts of growing old. Its findings are reported in greater detail at WebMD.

Most interestingly, the researchers reveal that you can claim these protective health benefits for yourself with only a moderate amount of pleasurable physical activity. In other words, you don’t have to run a marathon.

That’s very important because the biggest reason that people avoid an active lifestyle is that extreme exercise simply isn’t fun. Given the prospect of working up a daily sweat on a miles-long hike, many choose to settle in on the couch instead.

But that’s a false dichotomy. Seniors needn’t choose between extreme sports and couch potato-dom. Researchers found that even more moderate amounts of enjoyable movement could be equally effective, so long as it’s safe and daily.

Their advice isn’t only for the elderly, either. The earlier in life you adopt daily physicality, the more fully you can protect against future brain damage (and the sooner you can start reversing any damage already done).

Given the fact that dementia is on the rise all around the world, I’m thrilled to see so many new reports about simple lifestyle changes that we all can make to meaningfully reduce our risk of disease.

Of course, it’s important to remember that exercise isn’t a guaranteed cure-all, and even the most active senior is likely to experience an increase in healthcare costs as they age. Even in a future that could see substantially fewer cases of dementia, long-term care planning remains important. The good news, though, is that it’s a future we can really be excited to plan for.

Who Takes Care of You If You Don’t Have Kids?

When it comes to growing older, there is one great insurance plan that you simply can’t buy from an agent: your children.

Family members provide the majority of senior care in this country. They do it with little training, no pay, and in spite of their own busy lives — all out of the goodness of their hearts. The situation isn’t ideal, but given the cost of senior care (especially for those suffering with illness), it’s often the only practical option.

But what happens if you don’t have kids to care for you?

A new study shows that a growing number of people in the U.K. are choosing not to have children there. That could mean major changes to their healthcare system in less than a generation’s time. A few years ago, The New York Times told us that a similar trend is happening here in the United States.

Potentially, an increase in childless seniors could spell catastrophe for the healthcare system. But so far, that hasn’t been the case.

Studies find that childless couples do not receive less care on average than those with kids. Nor do they score any lower on the happiness index. Very few express regret over the decision not to become parents, just as those who did have kids are happy to have done so. It seems most people are more or less happy with their lot in life by the time they reach the end of it.

Still, the Times notes, older Americans do worry about who’ll help them down the road. For many, “chosen family” networks — friends, volunteers, and support groups — fill the void.

Will that continue as a viable system-wide solution as the number of childless elders grows? Only time will tell.

In the meantime, one of the best steps you can take for yourself is to begin a long-term care plan as soon as possible. Making legal and financial arrangements today could spare you a lot of hardship and anxiety in later years.

There’s no reason for anyone to fear the future, regardless of the lives they’ve chosen for themselves. If you’d like to talk about your options, feel free to give me a call. We can put together a plan that will give you peace of mind.

Signs of Caregiver Stress

So much of the discussion about long-term care in this country is focused on the patients and the payments. That makes sense. Long-term care can be very expensive and it has an inestimable impact on the lives of the elderly who need it.

In giving those issues the attention they deserve, though, we mustn’t overlook one invaluable piece of the senior-care puzzle: the voluntary family caregiver.

About Health tells us that more than 22.4 million Americans are providing some form of informal, unpaid care to elderly or disabled relatives. Their efforts are noble but they can also be incredibly stressful.

We also know that the majority of visits to doctor’s offices in this country are stress-related. Stress is a real concern and a verified cause of illness. It is important, then, for caregivers to set a moment aside for serious self-assessment.

According to About Health, the following are the most common signs and symptoms of in-home caregiver stress:

  • Anxiety that doesn’t get better after a short time
  • Crying more than usual
  • Frequent sadness or mood swings
  • Low energy
  • Changes in sleeping patterns (i.e. insomnia, oversleeping, etc.)
  • Changes in eating patterns (i.e. loss of appetite, overeating, etc.)
  • Social isolation
  • Diminished interest in your usual hobbies
  • Feeling that you don’t have time for yourself
  • Tension headaches
  • Feeling angry or resentful toward the person you are caring for

If you’ve checked off more than one or two of these, the following resources can help you manage your stress, connect with other caregivers, and find some balance:

Staying in strong physical and emotional health isn’t important for only the caregiver. The elderly recipient of care also needs somebody who’s staying in good spirits and good health.

If you’re caring for someone at home and feeling a little overwhelmed, please know that it’s normal and that you aren’t alone. Allow yourself to take a deep breath and create some “me time.” If you need outside help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Remember: you can’t help anyone else until you’re taking care of yourself too.

A Marriage to Remember: A Touching Short Film on Alzheimer’s

In a new short-film documentary entitled A Marriage to Remember, filmmaker Banker White takes a starkly intimate look into his parents’ struggle with his mother’s early-onset Alzheimer’s disease.

In her youth, Pam White was a model and an actress. Later, she devoted her entire life to her family and her kids. Now, they’re paying her back with around-the-clock in-home care.

The film visits Pam at an interesting moment in the course of her disease. For the most part, she’s still in command of her mental faculties. In one candid car ride, her son asks whether the confusion has been difficult for her. Wittingly, she replies, “I’m not confused. You think I’m confused?”

She isn’t arguing or in denial. She’s just being precise. Confusion isn’t exactly her issue just yet. Ultimately, Banker agrees. That wasn’t the right word.

It’s a telling moment that keenly illustrates the sneaky progression of Alzheimer’s. Here is a woman who still recognizes, still remembers, still engages in conversation, and is clearly still quite sharp. And yet she is also undeniably struggling.

Her husband has to pull her out of bed and help her shuffle from one room to the next and down the stairs. He tells us that the change in just one year has been “profound.” Her son says there are early mornings where he’s sure she doesn’t recognize them at first. “That is beginning,” her husband says.

But while the narrative of Alzheimer’s is often a sad one, sorrow is not the prevailing sentiment in A Marriage to Remember — and that is what makes it so impactful in its brief, eight-minute runtime.

“Initially, I was quite distressed,” Pam tells us. “…But it doesn’t really change anything… I don’t feel sad and I don’t feel regret. I feel blessed that I have this wonderful family and a husband who is extraordinarily wonderful.”

Blessed. What an outlook. And truly, the film is as much husband Ed’s story as it is Pam’s. It reveals the unshakeable strength of a marriage that is so strong that not even Alzheimer’s can break it. Theirs is a love for times both better and worse. It is truly inspiring.

Silver linings and love help to redeem even the darkest diagnoses. A Marriage to Remember is a testament to that. It’s a very short film, and I think you’ll be glad you watched it. You can find it streaming for free at The New York Times.

If you and your family are currently going through an Alzheimer’s experience of your own, I also recommend getting in touch with the Alzheimer’s Association of Massachusetts and New Hampshire, as they offer a number of programs and services that can be of great help.

Amy Grant’s Three Tips for Family Caregivers

Amy Grant has made a career out of inspirational storytelling in song, earning six Grammy awards and more than thirty million record sales along the way. She’s one of the best-selling female recording artists of all time, but now she also has a new job title on her résumé: long-term care provider.

Grant’s parents were each diagnosed with different but severe forms of dementia late last decade. Her mother passed away in 2011, an experience that informed most of the songwriting on Grant’s most recent album, released in 2013.

Her father, meanwhile, still suffers from dementia so profound that he has lost nearly all his ability to communicate.

Grant sat down with Guideposts magazine to share three insights she’s found throughout the heartbreaking journey she’s taken with both her parents. Her tips for family caregivers include:

  1. “Frame your experience in a way that gives meaning to what you’re going through.” Grant said that the key for them was finding a silver lining in an otherwise trying experience. “This is the last great lesson that we’ll learn from our dad,” she says.
  1. Spread the responsibility. Grant recommends making a list of all the people to whom this aging person matters. Rather than allowing an excessive burden to fall on just a few shoulders, encourage extended family and friends to realize that they’re a part of the puzzle too. She concedes, though, that relating to someone with dementia can be challenging for some family members, especially youngsters.
  1. Start preparing to fund long-term care as soon as possible. While Grant’s dad was a successful doctor and she herself has gone on to enjoy superstar fame, she recognizes that most families aren’t as fortunate. She stresses the need for parents and children alike to consider insurance and long-term care planning, even if everyone in the family is still in good health.

Her advice is well taken, and it is nice to see someone in the public eye shine a light on the need for long-term care planning, even as it comes in the midst of her personal sadness. For more of Grant’s eloquent and inspiring story, watch her Guideposts interview online.

Is the Green House the New Nursing Home?

Every so often, cultural institutions give way to paradigm shifts. That might be the case with the conventional nursing home, according to a new report from The New York Times.

In today’s society, when parents age and become less self-reliant, they generally have three options: live with children or other close family members, hire in-home care, or move into a nursing home.

It’s not always a choice between the three, though. Living with family requires relatives with sufficient time and space for providing attendant care. In-home assistance, meanwhile, is extremely expensive — especially if it has to be around the clock.

So without adequate resources, many elderly people resign to the nursing home by default.

That isn’t always a bad thing. Some nursing home experiences prove to be happy and effective ones for their residents. But, as the Times argues, many would rather live somewhere else if given the chance.

As I mentioned earlier, though, paradigms change. Increasingly, seniors aren’t resigned to just the three conventional choices anymore. A variety of innovative approaches to senior living are diversifying the elder care marketplace.

One promising example is the Green House Project, a new kind of living environment for older Americans, already available in more than half the country. (There are currently two locations in Massachusetts — Westwood and Chelsea).

Green House residents live in pleasant cottages with their own private rooms and baths. The idea is to create a community in which seniors help take care of themselves and each other.

For example, those who’re able can help prepare the Green House meals, which are served in an inviting dining room rather than a stifling cafeteria. Residents schedule their own mealtimes and generally enjoy greater autonomy than they might have in a nursing home.

The Times talks about the project as a potential catalyst for industry-wide change. That’s an inspiring thought, especially when you consider that a variety of other nursing home alternatives are flourishing throughout the country at the same time.

Things keep looking up for the future of senior care in America, and I can’t wait to see what comes next.

Not Your Grandmother’s Long-Term Care

I always love to see major media outlets shine a light on elder care. Not long ago, “The Today Show” aired a wonderful segment about long-term care, encouraging young people to take it seriously and start learning about it now.

Carol Levine, author of Planning for Long-Term Care for Dummies, joined the hosts to talk about the changing face of long-term care in the United States.

“The newer approach to long-term care is really not your grandmother’s long-term care,” Levine explained. Today’s approach differs from the previous generations in a few key respects. Generally speaking, she says, these include:

  • A wider range of options
  • Longer time periods, as people live longer
  • Care plans that are based on what people need, not on institutions’ needs.

But some things don’t change. Long-term care is still confusing and still very expensive. “Today” cited costs that span from $40,000 to $75,000 a year —sometimes higher. Often, it’s the families that end up paying for most or all of that.

Levine’s basic advice is golden. Do your homework, she says, and begin now.

She suggested starting small. Make your parents’ homes safer, more accessible, and more fall-proof. Falls often trigger an early need for elder care.

From there, you can start to put together a financial plan that might include savings accounts, trusts, long-term care insurance, retirement funds, health insurance, and more.

Like most things in life, long-term care is a mountain best scaled one stone at a time. Starting early is the key. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or have any questions whatsoever, don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and ask. I’m more than happy to help.

Picking Up Where Mom and Dad Leave Off

Forbes recently asked its readers whether they could pick up where their parents leave off. It’s an odd question, and one that a lot of children won’t have asked themselves yet.

The point Forbes is making is that parents don’t simply leave an estate behind when they die. They leave a whole life behind, too. And someone has to tend to that.

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The article described a baby boomer who was vacationing overseas when she found out her elderly mother had suffered serious brain damage after a fall. Fortunately, the mother survived and recovered, but the daughter suddenly realized that she was totally unprepared to handle her mother’s affairs had something gone horribly wrong.

But Forbes isn’t talking about just an estate plan. The mother in this story already had all that — the will, the trusts, the healthcare proxy, and so on.

But what about the deed to her house? The list of bills that would need to be paid? Automatic drafts from her bank account? Keys to her property? Newspaper subscriptions? Credit cards? Community responsibilities? Documents related to a small business that a parent might own?

Your parents will leave whole lives behind when they pass. The little details can add up to a lot, and it can be a challenge to keep track of them all during the final years of a loved one’s life.

Communication is really the key when caring for an aging parent. Remember that no detail is too minor to bother with addressing now. You’ll likely be grateful that you did.

Each of my clients receives an Estate Planning Binder at the conclusion of our planning. This binder has sections that can be completed so that all the personal information someone might need is collected in one location.

Accepting Extra Care Isn’t Always Easy for Seniors

“It’s a hand, not a shark.” That’s what the matronly Nora says as she extends her arm to the scared little boy Pete in Disney’s classic fantasy film, Pete’s Dragon. He really did need her help, but he was scared to take it. Support can be scary like that.

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Seniors who are no longer able to completely care for themselves can have a hard time accepting outside help. I’ve known many aging parents who balk at their children’s offer to hire in-home health care or other forms of assisted living. Hands sometimes look a lot like sharks.

I recently came across an article in Forbes in which one woman explained how her ultra-stubborn mom finally acquiesced and accepted in-home senior care.

The elderly mother didn’t want the help in her own home, but she agreed that for a weeklong vacation away from family, it might not be a bad idea. As it turns out, the mother and the caregiver got along swimmingly. Maybe having someone around more frequently wasn’t such a bad thing after all, she decided.

The truth is that everybody needs a helping hand now and then, but our instincts may lead us to resist. Only you can decide what is best for your family, but I think it’s important to approach these decisions with patience and respect.

It takes a little time sometimes, but kindness and composure can produce the best resolutions.

How to Age Gracefully: Mind, Body, and Spirit

Each of us comes from a different walk of life, but there’s one thing we have in common: we’re all getting older. Time’s rhythm is steady, and try as we might, everyone ages just a little bit more with each passing day. But surely there’s a difference between aging and aging well.

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Not long ago, Boston.com put together a list of ten tips for aging gracefully. Their helpful hints run the gamut from diet and exercise to an active social life, but what struck me most was that all of their advice could really be boiled down to that timeless trio of mind, body, and spirit.

For the mind, they recommend a commitment to good mental health, which might mean counseling or some casual therapy. The article also challenged the elderly to teach themselves something new every day. Curiosity and application keep the mind sharp.

Unsurprisingly, the body got the bulk of their advice — good food, plenty of sleep, and consistent exercise. It’s a good idea to schedule regular checkups with the doctor too, in order to keep an eye on blood pressure, blood sugar, and any suspicious health-related developments.

But I was especially pleased to see some attention paid to the part of us that might get neglected the most: spirit. Boston.com stressed the importance of making friends and spending quality time with the ones you love. You’re never too old for an active social life, and it can do wonders for your health.

Of course, there’s really no dividing line between the mind, the body, and the spirit. What’s good for one is good for the others, and whole-self health may just be the key to a long and happy life.